Andy Griffith was one of the biggest television stars during the 1960s, reaching peak fame from his starring role in The Andy Griffith Show. But did you know that before his successful acting career he rose to fame as a monologist?
One of his most successful monologues was “What It Was, Was Football” which follows a country preacher who accidentally finds himself at a football game and doesn’t really know what to make of it. The original recording was produced in North Carolina and mass-produced by Capitol Records in 1953. The performance charted at No. 9 on the Billboard chart and was instrumental in boosting Griffith’s television and comedy career. It even landed him an appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1954. The script of the monologue was printed in Mad magazine in 1958 and even turned into a short film in 1997. Griffith was known for his hilarious monologues. His 1962 “The Discover of America” routine is another fan favorite.
Watch the full monologue to hear Griffith’s hilarious performance of “What it Was, Was Football” or read it below.
“What It Was, Was Football” We were going to hold a tent service off at this college town, and we got there about dinnertime on Saturday. Different ones of us thought that we ought to get us a mouthful to eat before we set up the tent.
So we got off the truck and followed this little bunch of people through this small little bitty patch of woods there, and we came up on a big sign. It says, “Get Something to Eat Here.”
I went up and got me two hot dogs and a big orange drink, and before I could take a mouthful of that food, this whole raft of people came up around me and got me to where I couldn’t eat nothing, up like, and I dropped my big orange drink. I did.
Well, friends, they commenced to move, and there wasn’t so much that I could do but move with them.
Well, we commenced to go through all kinds of doors and gates and I don’t know what-all, and I looked up over one of ’em and it says, “North Gate.” We kept on a-going through there, and pretty soon we came up on a young boy and he said, “Ticket, please.”
And I say, “Friend, I don’t have a ticket; I don’t even know where it is that I’m a-going!” I did.
Well, he says, “Come out as quickly as you can.”
And I say, “I’ll do ‘er; I’ll turn right around the first chance I get.”
Well, we kept on a-moving through there, and pretty soon everyone got where it was that they were a-going, because they parted and I could see pretty good. I could. And what I saw was this whole raft of people a-sittin’ on these two banks and a-lookin’ at one another across this pretty little green cow pasture. Well, they were.
Somebody had taken and drawn white lines all over it and drove posts in it, and I don’t know what-all, and I looked down there, and I saw five or six convicts a-running up and down and a-blowing whistles . They were. And then I looked down there, I saw these pretty girls wearin’ these little bitty short dresses and a-dancing around, and so I sat down and thought I’d see what it was that was a-going to happen. I did.
About the time I got set down good, I looked down there and I saw 30 or 40 men come a-runnin’ out of one end of a great big outhouse down there. They did. And everyone where I was a-settin’ got up and hollered! And about that time, 30 or 40 came runnin’ out of the other end of that outhouse, and the other bank-full, they got up and hollered.
And I asked this fella that was a sittin’ beside of me, “Friend, what is it that they’re a-hollerin’ for?”
Well, he whipped me on the back and he said, “Buddy, have a drink!” “Well,” I said, “I believe I will have another big orange.” And I got it and put it back down.
When I got there again I saw that they men had got in two little bitty bunches down there real close together, and they voted. They did. They voted and elected one man apiece, and they two men came out in the middle of that cow pasture and shook hands like they hadn’t seen another one in a long time.
