‘Steel Magnolias’ moment: Embrace friends and culture

Cultural mores — both societal and the pop variety — run deep. They immerse us in a cocoon of familiarity daily, but also emerge during the most random of tasks.

One never knows what to expect when the telephone rings in the newsroom. The caller on the other end of the line may have a question, a news tip or a complaint. But one call I remember from more than a decade ago was a thank you.

Vain Colby, then assignment editor at a local television station, phoned to express his appreciation for our coverage of his upcoming Summit Player’s production, “The Passing of Pearl.”

A veteran journalist, Vain was well aware most media tend to get more feedback when folks are unhappy than when they are pleased.

At the time I had known Vain for ages, and respected his work as a journalist and actor. After his play debuted, he became known as an esteemed playwright as well.

Sadly, Vain passed away last December. His obituary tells us he went quietly and peacefully while watching a favorite movie with his husband of 26 years, Jim Jenks, at their home.

On that day, the world — and especially our little corner of it — lost a gentle, intelligent and beautiful soul.

But remembering that call from years ago, what struck me the most about our conversation was how it quickly moved into “Steel Magnolias” mode.

As Vain described the plot of his new play to me, I couldn’t help but respond, “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.”

The line was from the 1989 movie, “Steel Magnolias,” and was spoken by Dolly Parton playing the part of salon owner and hair stylist Truvy. Vain immediately recognized my reference, and proceeded to speak one of my all-time favorite lines: “My colors are ‘blush’ and ‘bashful.’ ”

This, too, comes from “Steel Magnolias,” uttered by a young Julie Roberts in the role of Shelby, daughter of M’Lynn, who was played by award-winning actress Sally Fields.

The blush and bashful quote is in reference to Shelby’s wedding colors, which M’Lynn explains as, “Her colors are ‘pink’ and ‘pink.’ ’’

In my two decades as a journalist, I’ve learned much about our culture. One important note is that our society can be divided by many factors.

Those who are conservative; those who are liberal.

Those who are pro-union; those who are pro-business.

Those who have watched “Steel Magnolias”; and those who haven’t.

I see it quite frequently in our own newsroom and at social events. Something occurs that feels like a “Steel Magnolias” moment, and someone will utter one of the movie’s classic phrases.

“I’m not crazy! I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years.”

“I promise that my personal tragedy will not affect my ability to do good hair.”

“He is a boil on the butt of humanity.”

“Well, you know what they say: if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!”

Those who have watched the movie always smile and toss out a catch phrase of their own. Those who haven’t look confused

I loved “Steel Magnolias” from the first time I watched it many years ago.

Personally, I love the spunk of the characters: Parton, Fields, Roberts and, of course, Shirley MacLaine as Ouiser, Olympia Dukakis as Clairee and Daryl Hannah as Annelle. The plot of the film, based on a stage play, revolves around the lives of the five women in a small Louisiana parish and their interactions in Truvy’s Beauty Parlor.

It’s a plot many folks can relate to.

During visits to my hair salon, I often smile at the “talk of the day” and interaction between staff and clients. I have been a patron of my stylist for many years, and my mother and grandmother were also clients at her previous salon in the years before their passing.

Going to the salon every six weeks (‘‘Get your roots done!” Ouiser tells Clairee in the movie), was a routine for the women in my family. After Granny died, Mom and I continued the tradition.

Every few weeks we would travel to the salon to have our color and highlights touched up, our split-ends clipped and our hair styled. And we would enjoy the camaraderie of our stylists and fellow clients.

Such is the case in “Steel Magnolias.” A movie about southern women and their bonds to each other. But, most importantly, a movie about life.

Real life.

When Sally Fields as M’Lynn shares the pain of her daughter’s death, it’s a movie moment that affects just about everyone.

“I find it amusing. Men are supposed to be made out of steel or something. I just sat there. I just held Shelby’s hand. There was no noise, no tremble, just peace. Oh God. I realize as a woman how lucky I am. I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life and I was there when she drifted out. It was the most precious moment of my life.”

Laughter through tears truly is my favorite emotion. It’s one I can relate to when I share a moment with family members or friends.

Through better or worse, we are all part of this world, and these small intimate circl