K. Stew, the queen of the queers, hath spoken it into existence.
The 33-year-old queer icon told Variety, “I don’t think it necessarily started off that way, but I also think that the fact that I was there at all, it was percolating. It’s such a gay movie.””I mean, Jesus Christ; Taylor and Rob and me, and it’s so hidden and not okay,” Kristen added. “I mean, a Mormon woman wrote this book. It’s all about oppression, about wanting what’s going to destroy you. That’s a very Gothic, gay inclination that I love.””I mean, Jesus Christ; Taylor and Rob and me, and it’s so hidden and not okay,” Kristen added. “I mean, a Mormon woman wrote this book. It’s all about oppression, about wanting what’s going to destroy you. That’s a very Gothic, gay inclination that I love.”Now, since the “queer trailblazer” has spoken, I have absolutely no choice but to do what should’ve happened years ago. I’m highlighting every moment in the Twilight Saga that shows it’s unseriously “such a gay movie.”
1. First, if an angsty teenager goes to a small town “under a near constant cover of clouds and rain” with a population of 3,120 people, it’s probably a gay movie. If you don’t believe me, check the watch history of my last four Amazon Prime movies. Ominous blue and gray skies are queer aesthetic.2. Charlie, aka Bella’s daddy, gifts his awkward daughter a “new” old refurbished truck from the Blacks, and Bella’s over-the-top reaction is enough proof that deep down, she secretly wants to haul junk around, wear flannels, work boots, and take up random construction projects.3. Jacob Black and Bella instantly bond over being childhood friends, and it’s a clear sign of the best GBF (gay best friendship) in cinematic history, regardless of what transpires next.4. When the queer-coded Cullens are first introduced, they appear in color-coordinated outfits paired with their sexless and problematic foster sibling relationships. I know a pack of sassy, elite LGBTQ+ folk with impeccable style when I see it.5. When Bella walks into the classroom with that Beyoncé-level fan blowing her hair in Edward Cullen’s direction, he can’t contain himself and gags, gasps, and damn near chokes at the sight of her. TBH, if queer icon Kristen Stewart walked into my biology class, I would be literally gagged too. I get it, Eddie.6. Bella lures Edward into the forest to settle her suspicions about him, once and for all. One by one, she describes every Instagay with an OnlyFans account and a spicy Twitter, and Edward is left speechless because Miss Bella clocked him from a mile away.
8. In the scene that sets the tone for the entire saga, Bella finally outs Edward in the middle of the woods and labels him a “vampire,” but we all know that her subsequent late-night convulsions, bloodthirsty lust, and entire arc is just a queer coming-of-age story.9. Bella meets the Cullens and their thirtysomething-year-old foster parents, who live in a multi-million-dollar mansion overlooking the entire forest. Only a pair of hot young, queer foster parents could mysteriously have careers successful enough to sustain this ridiculously lavish lifestyle.10. The Cullens decide to play baseball in the middle of a thunderstorm, and based on Muse’s “Supermassive Black Hole” blaring in the background, Alice’s high-kicks, and Emmett being 100% trade — it’s basically A League of Their Own directed by Baz Luhrmann.11. Any moment these campy vagabonds show up, you know they’re bringing nothing but DRAMA. James Witherdale, Laurent Da Revin, and Victoria Sutherland are the mean gays who show up to the party and judge everyone in sight. Let them find out someone who doesn’t belong be there. They will try to eat them alive.12. When Bella sees Sam Uley and his gang of shirtless boys jumping off cliffs, Jacob finally opens up to his bestie. He reveals that Sam keeps giving him eyes like he’s waiting for Jacob to blossom, and it gives him the willies. Sam knew all along.13. Bella tries to confront Jacob because he’s “different,” not just because he tossed that dollar store wig in the trash. Bella fears losing her bestie since he’s spending too much time with Sam, the shirtless boys, and a 20-ounce bottle of creatine.
